Transcript of this chapter:

narrator: "Once the symbol of Spider Cliff's steadfast resolve against the untamed wilderness, the Bean House now sits vacant, crumbling, brooding... " Or so says the brochures in the tourism office.
narrator: Today, the largest house in Spider Cliff will see some new tenants, attracted by necessity and utterly unlike occupants of times past.
narrator: The years have not been kind to the Bean House, as only a third of it is fit for human habitation. That will be sufficient, for only one of the three new residents is human, anyway.
crystal: Wow! This place is awesome. Just listen to those acoustics!
barlow: No! You will not be bringing any noisy musical instruments into my house.
turnip: Hey, Barlow... are you sure you want to move back into this house? I know it stirs up some bad memories...
barlow: I'd love to tear this place down, but I don't have anywhere else to go.
crystal: Don't be so harsh, Barlow. So maybe this place gets a little leaky when it rains and there's mold growing on the drapery, but it's nothing we can't fix up, right?
annabelle: Personally, I like moldy drapery.
crystal: Of is there more to it than that? What's got you in such a crummy mood, Barlow?
barlow: We shouldn't be here... I shouldn't be here.
crystal: But I thought you OWN this house. You are the last of the Bean family, right?
barlow: Yeah, I own this place all right. But... well, it's mine but it's not ME. I'm not meant to be here. the Bean family was a family of action. We were supposed to lead Spider Cliff and protect it from the forces of evil. I'm happier getting lost in a book.
barlow: And you see that I'm doing oh so well with that, letting a demon and a zombie move in with me.
annabelle: So... you feel bad that we're here?
barlow: No, I don't really care. But I grew up in this house under the thumb of my aunt Vedalia, and absolutely everything in this house reminds me of my miserable childhood.
crystal: Eh. Get over it, Barlow.
barlow: You wouldn't understand.
crystal: Oh, that angst just suits you so fine, Barlow.
turnip: Barlow's just upset because he grew up here, and it reminds him of his childhood.
crystal: What's so bad about that?
barlow: What's so bad?! You have no idea what it was like under the reign of my aunt Vedalia! The horrors I had to endure...
turnip: Vedalia was a bit strict.
crystal: Well, I'm sure it's nothing a quick and painful brain surgery couldn't fix.
annabelle: Mmmm... brains.
crystal: Hey, we should go stake out our rooms.
annabelle: Woo-hoo! Zombies in the basement!
crystal: And I'm angling for that nice room at the top of the stairs.
barlow: No! That's my aunt Vedalia's old room. If she knew a demon was moving in, she's flip out. She was the demon-hunter before I got the job, and she was very serious about it.
crystal: Aw, but she's not here anymore, is she?
turnip: You're starting to regret letting them move in, aren't you, Barlow?
barlow: It doesn't really change anything. The main issue is between me and this house.
turnip: So what are you going to do?
barlow: Maybe we could renovate this place... maybe we could get rid of every trace of my demon-slaying ancestors.
turnip: Great! How do we start?
barlow: With a wrecking ball! It's hopeless. There's just too much to do. There isn't even any indoor plumbing!
barlow: I'll just get lost in a book and forget about all this.
turnip: Yeah, that's always your answer to everything, Barlow.
barlow: Can I help it? This is the way I am, and returning to this house isn't going to change me.
barlow: Turnip, let's go find my books.
turnip: Your books?
barlow: Yeah. Aunt Vedalia always confiscated books when she caught me reading. She must've put them somewhere... the family vault, maybe.
barlow: Wow, it's the Paper Room... I haven't been in this room since...
turnip: Since I begged you not to.
barlow: That was like ten years ago.
turnip: Barlow, let's get out of here. I don't feel comfortable in a place entirely decorated with paper mammals... Please?...
barlow: Maybe it's time to follow the family tradition.
turnip: How do you mean?
barlow: Maybe I should just become as tough and unwavering as my late aunt. Maybe I should start thinking more about what's best for Spider Cliff.
turnip: You can do that?
barlow: No. Who am I kidding? I've never felt at home in Spider Cliff.
barlow: Someday, that bridge will be put back up, and I'll be able to get out of this place. I belong somewhere else, Turnip. I belong somewhere with books and ideas and other people who share the same outlook.
turnip: Yeah, whatever you say, Barlow.
barlow: A lot of stuff in Spider Cliff is made from mammal-skin paper.
turnip: I know that. I know that I'm regarded as a commodity by some people around here...
turnip: But THIS room... this room is just too gruesome.
barlow: I'm not going to let anything like this happen again.
turnip: I know you wouldn't, Barlow. You've always understood, but there are others in town who still support this kind of thing, and trap my brothers and sisters.
barlow: Ha! Like you've never seen this sort of thing before.
turnip: Barlow, how can you be so heartless? There are innocent lives on these walls... innocent lives skinned and wallpapered to make what?
turnip: I refuse to be treated as wallpaper, Barlow!
barlow: You can't expect everyone to change their ways immediately...
barlow: Almost everyone in town is embarrassed by the trapping and skinning of paper mammals. It's certainly not fashionable now, we're a lot more sensitive and civilized now.
barlow: So, the sheriff still likes to trap your species. He's getting older, and after he's gone this way of life will be seen as barbaric. You just have to hold out a little longer.
turnip: But these are my brothers and sisters we're talking about...
barlow: Forget about all this. Let's move on to the vault.
barlow: Well, this is the family vault.
barlow: All my life, I've wondered what's in there. I've been in every other room in this house, including the private study and that hidden room in the basement. This is the last place left.
turnip: What do you think is in there?
barlow: Treasure, I hope. My old book collection, maybe... or maybe something even better...,
barlow: Vedalia never used the vault. I never knew why, but she never opened it and forbade me from going in there.
barlow: Of course it's locked. We'll have to come up with something creative.
turnip: Wow! Were you ever wrong!
barlow: It's... it's open. It was unlocked... all these years it was unlocked!
barlow: It can't have been unlocked!
turnip: Do you think the lock just rusted away or something?
barlow: I'm not sure...
barlow: There's something on the floor here... it looks like... metal filings. It appears that someone opened this vault recently. Odd.
barlow: It's time to see what's in there.
barlow: Turnip, you wait out here. I need to do this alone.
turnip: Why can't I go with you?
barlow: I need to do this alone because it's my chance to break completely from the past and my aunt Vedalia's rules. This is, after all, the one place where she wouldn't go.