Transcript of this chapter:

barlow: ....And that's when I left to find you guys.
turnip: Wow, Barlow, you could've been killed! Someone obviously wants you dead.
barlow: Well, I guess that's true. I guess I'm lucky that Crystal opened that cabinet before I did.
barlow: At least nobody got hurt...
alex: Barlow! I can't believe what I'm hearing!
alex: If someone tried to kill me, I'd be angry! I'd demand a full investigation into what happened!
alex: You can't just blow it off and expect the problem to go away! This assassin is still out there! It's probably that zombie we saw in the marsh!
barlow: No one saw a zombie.
alex: A circus-trained zombie assassin! You should take threats like that seriously!
barlow: Hey, I gotta deal with this sort of thing all the time...
alex: So you don't think this situation is dangerous?
barlow: It's not so bad. I'm not going to lose any sleep over this.
alex: That's the wrong attitude! We've got get them first!
barlow: Well, obviously I survived!
alex: I don't think you appreciate the danger you're in!
alex: You got lucky this time! What about next time?!
barlow: I'm staying alert... our assassin will slip up eventually.
alex: But how many people will be dead before that happens?
alex: We need to take the offensive! We need to find this threat, and eliminate it, before things turn deadly.
alex: Just imagine if our assassin finds some evil weapon, like what's in the secret archives. Even your demon-hunting skills would be worthless.
barlow: I think we'll need to set up some traps tonight.
alex: A good idea! I've already got some traps laid out in my backyard.
barlow: You've got them ready?
alex: I've had them ready for months!
barlow: Wait... what's this about secret archives?
alex: Oh! Oh... uh, nothing. Never mind... There's no such thing.
barlow: I won't let you help me if you don't start telling me what I need to know.
alex: I can't say anything! I'm not supposed to know about it.
barlow: So there IS a secret archive somewhere?
alex: Y-y-yes...
barlow: I'm assuming we're dealing with another zombie... but I'm not sure how we've missed seeing him.
alex: I'm telling you, Barlow... it's a zombie assassin! A circus-trained zombie assassin!
alex: Who knows how many traps it's left for us. This is bad, Barlow... really... really...
barlow: Oh, shut up, you. I have a perfect track record at dealing with this kind of thing. A faced off with a real demon, and what happened?
alex: She's living in your house, now.
barlow: Well, bad example. The point is, I'm still alive, and the people of Spider Cliff are still safe from demon invasion.
barlow: How do you know about all this?
alex: It's only by accident that I know. Nobody's supposed to know about the secret archives except the demon-hunter.
barlow: I don't even know about it!
alex: Then I'll tell you what I found. I was reading something in the town library... I think it was a geological survey from the 1940's.
barlow: Oh, yes, because that's quite a page-turner, I'm sure.
alex: It was the last book about Spider Cliff that I hadn't read.
alex: Anyway, there was a scrap of paper making mention of the secret archives, so I turned the town inside out until I found the place.
alex: It was horrible! I've never seen such a huge collection of evil!
barlow: What kind of books are in the secret archives?
alex: It's not an archive of books. It holds all of the evil objects that have been confiscated by demon-hunters.
alex: A lot of the REALLY evil things in the world can't be destroyed, not without releasing more evil into the world.
alex: The secret archives are a place where evil things can be stored away so that they can never be used again!
barlow: Okay, take me there.
alex: No way! The archives should never be opened. I know you, Barlow. You're too curious. You'd want to know what's in there.
barlow: Okay, at least tell me where it is.
alex: And if I refuse?
barlow: No big deal. I'll survive just fine without knowing where it is.
barlow: Of course, keeping something like that from me would really make me question your loyalty to the solemn office of demon-hunter. I couldn't allow you to assist me any longer...
alex: Okay! Okay, I'll show you where it is! But I'm not going in, and I don't think you should either!
barlow: Wow... there's a whole lot of stuff in here.
alex: Okay, Barlow. You've seen it. Now let's go back.
barlow: Just wait a minute. I want to look around.
barlow: Hmm... that's not much of a view.
barlow: Hey, Alex... Why did they bother putting a window here if you can't see anything but the building next door?
alex: Oh, that's because this building we're in was one of the original buildings in Spider Cliff.
alex: That building blocking the view is part of the Monocle factory. It wasn't built until 1911 or so. Spider Cliff went through a growth spurt around that time.
barlow: Why's all of this stuff in here? Some of it looks useful.
alex: Barlow, if something has been put into the secret archives, there's a reason for it. Let's not question the motives of the brave heroes who came before us.
alex: Look at that mummified hand. Does it look safe? Pure evil, it seems to me.
alex: And look at that projectile weapon. It's got blood stains all over it.
barlow: I think that's my blood. I think that's my old yo-yo. I remember hitting myself with it once.
alex: You see?! Obviously, an evil object if I ever saw one.
barlow: Hey, this stuff doesn't look particularly dangerous.
alex: Don't be fooled! This stuff is evil! Look over here...
alex: This tiny box contains a severed thumb... that moves on its own! Every man who gazes upon it loses his sanity, and quite possibly his soul!
barlow: Oh, give me a break. It's an empty box with a hole in the bottom that you put your own thumb through.
alex: What makes you so sure that you understand its secrets?
barlow: Because it used to be mine! Vedalia took it away from me when I was a kid. I can only assume this is the place she left things that annoyed her.
alex: Well, true... this place has always been where the demon-hunters can store unsafe and evil objects.
barlow: I agree... this stuff shouldn't be used.
alex: Great. Let's get out of here, then. This place shouldn't be open to the public.
barlow: Hold on, I want to get my yo-yo, first.
alex: Barlow!
barlow: I don't see how this stuff can be so bad. I bet we could learn something by studying this stuff.
alex: You just don't get it, do you?! You go too far in seeking knowledge. One of these days, you're going to regret it!