Transcript of this chapter:

crystal: I know Barlow keeps some butterscotch candies around here somewhere. He always tries to make sure I don't see where he hides them.
crystal: Well, if he's going to be tied up all day with zombies, I'll have the time to find them...
crystal: Well... that wasn't something I was expecting to find...
crystal: Oh, Barlow! I didn't expect you home so early. I thought you had some things to do.
barlow: Turned out to be nothing. False alarm. Now I'm going to finish this book, and do so hope you'll NOT be playing that instrument of musical torture of yours.
crystal: You're going to actually finish a book for once? Not just leave it around with a bent-down page halfway through.
barlow: I'll have you know that I plan to finish every book I start... uh, eventually. This one's particularly exciting, though... it's a complete survey of the philosophy of dentistry.
crystal: Well, you just go right ahead...
barlow: Wait a minute... what exactly is that doing here? Where did that spear come from?
crystal: It's nothing, really...
barlow: It doesn't look like nothing from here...
barlow: From here, it looks like that spear was set to spring out and kill whoever opened that door.
crystal: Well... heh... I guess it could look like that... to the untrained eye.
crystal: Fortunately, you're far to clever to come to that conclusion.
barlow: Crystal, I'm still waiting for an explanation.
crystal: I think this was meant for you.
barlow: You're darn right this was meant for me!
crystal: You did it, didn't you?! You set this trap!
barlow: Are you kidding? Am I the sort of person to set a trap in my own house?
crystal: I don't know, are you?
barlow: I don't think so, unless it was part of a plan to get rid of the evil creature who plays her guitar half the night for the express purpose of keeping me awake... hmmm... it doesn't sound like a bad idea, really...
crystal: So you didn't set this up, right? You're not trying to protect your hidden butterscotch treasure trove?
barlow: Of course I didn't! It was probably meant for me. I don't know why you'd be poking around in there.
barlow: Obviously, we're dealing with a ruthless killer or someone who's too much of a coward to attack me directly.
barlow: Either way, we're dealing with someone of a very evil nature.
crystal: I have nothing further to say.
barlow: You know what I hate? You know what I hate more than anything else in the world?...
crystal: Centipedes?
barlow: More than centipedes. I hate it when people don't tell me what's going on around here! Knowledge is power, and I aim to know everything that's worth knowing.
crystal: I see...
barlow: And you're not helping any by trying to withhold the truth!
crystal: It's uh... just a little craft project I'm working on... yeah...
crystal: I got these instructions for making decorative spears in a book from the library.
barlow: I don't remember about that in anything I've read.
crystal: Well, you can't read every book in the world, can you? Besides, it, uh... it was a new book, so you might not have seen it yet.
barlow: You liar! The most recent book in our library is from 1961!
barlow: Now tell me what's really going on!
crystal: Maybe this is some sort of misunderstanding...
barlow: Oh. A misunderstanding. I really don't see how that's possible.
barlow: Okay, well, let's suppose it's a misunderstanding, as you say...
barlow: "Oh, hi there! I'm terribly sorry about that... I only just accidentally set this trap to kill you, don't take it personally..."
crystal: Okay, so it's a bit far-fetched...
crystal: We don't even know who or what left this here.
barlow: It doesn't matter who it is, it's obviously someone of an evil nature who means to get rid of the demon-hunter.
crystal: But maybe if we tried to talk things over with it...
barlow: Are you crazy?! We're talking about someone who wants to kill me!
crystal: Evil is not a defining character trait. It's a choice. Look at me, I CHOSE not to kill you and destroy the town... and I'm a demon!
barlow: Say, demon... just how many people have to killed?
crystal: Barlow... I... I don't want to talk about what I did before I came here, okay?
barlow: So it's safe to assume you killed a lot of innocent people?
crystal: Barlow, cut it out!
barlow: You should know all about evil creatures... you used to be one! Maybe still are one...
crystal: I said cut it out!
barlow: Oh, did I hit a nerve, there?
barlow: Now, it appears that I have work to do. Apparently, someone wants me dead... someone who's actually good at being evil.
barlow: I don't want to hear any more apologies for whatever it was that set this trap. I need to take care of it before anyone really gets hurt.
crystal: Let me handle this one... please.
barlow: Now why would you ask that? This isn't something you should be concerned with.
crystal: And why not? I could've been impaled on this spear, you know.
barlow: I don't think I need any of your help, thank you very much.
crystal: Don't make a move until you know what you're dealing with.
barlow: Who do you think you're talking to? I never make a move without good deliberation.
crystal: Yeah, I know. And it pretty much guarantees you won't do anything about this.
barlow: I need information before I can come up with a plan.
crystal: Yeah, whatever it is you call it, you're still lazy.