Transcript of this chapter:

eliza: So explain to me again how your hair turned purple.
barlow: I don't know how it happened. I just woke up this morning, and it was like this. It, uh... defies any explanation.
eliza: Nothing defies a scientific explanation. You've got that new girl living in your house, don't you?
barlow: Crystal. Don't remind me. We aren't getting along very well right now, mostly because she's a de- ....uh, she's a bad housemate.
eliza: She strikes me as an unbalanced person, an attention-seeker. You know the type. Just look that those silly things she wears on her head.
eliza: I'm willing to bet she did it to you... don't you think? It's the only logical conclusion.
barlow: I, uh... I agree completely. She probably did it.
eliza: I'm glad you're capable of rational thought, barlow. So few in Spider Cliff can do as much.
barlow: Actually, it was caused by a curse I picked up when I broke a little statue.
eliza: I think you've been cooped up in that backwards town of your for too long. There is no such thing as a curse, aside from its psychological effects. And that couldn't turn your hair purple.
barlow: Then what is it?
eliza: Someone is playing a trick on you.
barlow: I'd love to blame her for it, but I think it was someone or something else.
barlow: Crystal didn't behave like someone who did it.
eliza: Well, if you say so.
barlow: So what do I do about this problem? What is it?
eliza: Hmmm... let me have a look at you...
eliza: It's all the way up to your roots. That suggests that it isn't just dyed on... it's caused by internal chemical properties in your scalp. In other words, you were poisoned.
eliza: Now be honest... is ALL of your hair purple?
barlow: All of my hair? Oh, right... yeah, it's all like that.
eliza: Well, that backs up my diagnosis that it's something internal.
barlow: Okay, how do we cure this thing?
eliza: Well, that's hard to say, without access to a laboratory or a pharmacy.
eliza: But I happen to be a botanist and I have exhaustively studied the medicinal properties or our local flora.
eliza: What you need is something to cleanse your system, and for that I recommend creating a tonic from murky skunkwood mixed with screaming nettles.
barlow: Screaming nettles? Those things leave scars! It hurts to even look at those things.
eliza: Hey, that's medicine.
barlow: Does this mean I can't just dye it back?
eliza: Well, you could, but it would just turn purple again.
barlow: Are there any tests I should take? Maybe we can isolate this poison?
eliza: I guess we could do that. Okay, we'll need urine and stool samples to get started...
barlow: Uh... from me?
eliza: Don't be so embarrassed. This is for science.
barlow: Let's just skip those tests. Maybe we can concentrate on what I might've come in contact with.
barlow: Could I have picked it up from... uh... corpses?
eliza: So you've also, er... Where would you have come into contact with a corpse?
barlow: You've seen them, too?
eliza: I don't know what you're talking about.
barlow: Are you sure about this cure?
eliza: If there's one thing I know, it's plants. The plants are really the only interesting thing around here. So many unique varieties, and so little is published about them.
eliza: My study of these Matrimonials is going to shake up the botany world... as soon as I figure out how they do it.
barlow: Do what?
eliza: Well, you know how they always grow in mated pairs... there's a male plant and a female plant. This is not unique in the plant world.
eliza: What IS unique is that if you separate them, they'll get back together somehow. I don't know how they mobilize, but it's my goal to find out.
barlow: Well, good luck with that.
barlow: Where can I find the plants for the cure?
eliza: You can get the screaming nettles from just about anywhere. The murky skunkwood grows around the edges of the marsh. I just saw a bunch of it over by... er, never mind. I'll... I'll go find some for you.
barlow: Something's bothering you...
eliza: Forget about it... and stay out of the marsh for a while.
barlow: What if I just let it run its course?
eliza: And do nothing? I doubt it would cause any other symptoms. Once the poison is out of your system, your hair will turn back in a few days.
eliza: But you have to make sure you're not ingesting any more of whatever caused it in the first place. I recommend going on a diet of lichen for a few weeks.
barlow: You've seen something in the marsh, haven't you?
eliza: Uh... like what?
barlow: Maybe... dead bodies rising from the marsh?
eliza: So you've seen it, too... Well-preserved corpses rising to the top...
barlow: have you noticed any of them... moving?
eliza: There's obviously gas building up in their body cavities that gives the appearance that they're alive. Creepy, but explainable in scientific terms.
eliza: I think it's best if we don't tell people about what you saw.
barlow: Well, I guess I'll just let nature do its thing. Thanks for all the advice.
eliza: Okay, Barlow. If you change your mind, we can put together that tonic for you. It's only rarely fatal.