Transcript of this chapter:

narrator: 9:30 p.m.
crystal: Did you call me?
barlow: Yeah, I left a book on this shelf yesterday. It seems to have turned into... uh, skin-care products.
crystal: Yeah, well, I needed that space.
barlow: But that's MY shelf. You already have the other shelf.
crystal: You weren't using it for bath-related purposes, so you lose it.
barlow: You need to respect my stuff!
crystal: Barlow, you need to learn that there's other people in this world, and one of them lives in this house too.
barlow: I don't know where anything is, anymore! You've rearranged everything! It's all full of... potions and stuff.
crystal: It's skin-care products, and hair-care products. That's what goes on in here.
crystal: When I moved in, every room in this house was a library.
barlow: So I have a few books. I used to know where everything was... now I'm not so sure. You even emptied this basket... I don't even know what that stuff is in there.
crystal: That's girl stuff... leave it alone. You lose that space, too.
barlow: I think you should move out. I was here first.
crystal: Oh, if I could I would, believe me.
barlow: Well, why don't you? There are plenty of vacant buildings in this town.
crystal: I don't know if you've noticed this, Barlow, but Spider Cliff is slowly falling apart. The only places still fit for living in are already occupied. We're both lucky that Rebecca even kept this place up.
barlow: You're a demon... you can sleep outside or something. You don't require any human comforts.
crystal: Excuse me? You can't handle sharing a bathroom, so you want me to sleep outside?!
barlow: Why do you even NEED all that beauty stuff? I mean, it doesn't really do any good, does it?
crystal: Are you saying I'm ugly?
barlow: No, no... not at all. You're just too young to need that stuff, right?
crystal: Um...
barlow: Exactly how old ARE you?
crystal: Well, it's like this... Demon ages are different than human ages... so it's really hard to compare.
barlow: How many years have you been alive?
crystal: Twenty-eight.
barlow: And how old is that in human years?
crystal: Uh... twenty-eight...ish.
barlow: You're really twenty-eight? You're really almost ten years older than me?
crystal: Yes. Leave it.
barlow: Just because you're old doesn't give you the right to take over my shelf.
crystal: This room would make a fitting tomb, you know.
barlow: It's not just this room. You've got weird stuff all over the house.
crystal: I can see that you're just not familiar with living with other people.
barlow: Crystal, there are three dead ferrets in the refrigerator!
crystal: The sheriff caught those for me.
barlow: Oh. Is this some sort of culinary movement that I'm not familiar with?
crystal: Demons need a bit of blood now and then. Would you rather I took it from you?
barlow: We need separate refrigerators. I don't want your ferrets to touch my haggis.
crystal: If we had another refrigerator, you'd just put books in it! Honestly, there was a Dante in the icebox.
crystal: And I don't think the power system can handle another refrigerator. As it is, I had to run some extra extension cords up to my attic.
barlow: Your room already has electric. What do you need the extra power for?
crystal: I like electric blankets.
barlow: She likes electric blankets. It figures, as cold as she is.
barlow: What the-
barlow: Crystal!!!
barlow: Well, go on. The fuse box is down that way.
crystal: You know this house better than I do. You do it.
barlow: I'm not the one who hooked up five electric blankets.
crystal: Fine.
barlow: I really should see what's down here some time. I've never really looked. Maybe there's some...
barlow: ....stuff that ISN'T alive!
barlow: Crystal? Do you need any help?
crystalspot: No, I found it.
crystalspot: Jeez, these fuses are huge!
crystalspot: There we are.
crystal: That wasn't so hard. It's your turn next time.
barlow: What?! I'm not going to come down here every time you use a hair curler!
barlow: Whoever trips the fuse should be responsible for fixing it. That's only fair.
crystal: No, what's fair is you moving all of your books into one room. If one room can hold them.
crystal: You could probably put a lot of them down here...
crystal: What exactly is down here, anyway?
barlow: I think you should move down here. That way, you'll be close to the fuse box.
crystal: I think this space is already occupied. What exactly is down here, anyway?
barlow: I showed you where the fuse box is. I have no intention of coming down here again!
crystal: I think you're just afraid of this room.
barlow: I am not!
crystal: Say, what's down here anyway?
barlow: I have no idea. All this stuff came with the house.
crystal: Cool! Free stuff.
barlow: Hey, this stuff isn't ours. It's... uh... I don't know whose it is, but...
barlow: Are there any books over there?
crystal: Hey barlow, check out this squirrel statue. Isn't it cute?
crystal: I'm keeping it.
barlow: Whatever. Everything down here is here for a reason... it's all junk.
crystal: How dare you talk that way around our little squirrel-child!
crystal: Don't listen to him... you're a valuable work or art.
barlow: I hope that little squirrel comes alive tonight and murders you.