Transcript of this chapter:

crystal: Well, here's the diner. Now that there's no doubt that I've walked into a trap, I'll need to use all my cunning.
crystal: And I'll need to pull off this waitress thing... I just wish I knew the name of whoever they were expecting.
crystal: Attention... would whoever took all the library books on metaphysical mechanics please return them? They are quite overdue, and sorely missed. Thanks, Barlow.
crystal: Please note that our waitress is expected in town sometime today... so if you see a new face in town, she is not, repeat, NOT a demon. -Rebecca St. Spigot
crystal: Not a bad cover I guess, but I wish Rebecca had at least mentioned the name.
rebecca: Alex, put that coffee can back.
crystal: Hello... are you Rebecca?
rebecca: Yes I am... oh, hello! I've been expecting you. You are the new hire, aren't you?
crystal: At your service.
rebecca: Well... er, you're not quite what I expected, but I'm sure you'll work out just fine.
crystal: Why am I not what you expected?
rebecca: Well, to tell you the truth, I hired you entirely based on your first name.
rebecca: It has such a nice, musical quality, doesn't it? Solid, too.
crystal: Oh, er... yeah. I've always liked it.
rebecca: It's so hard to place... what do you think your name is reminiscent of?
crystal: Enough of this... prepare to...
rebecca: Now you don't have to be so assertive about the job. I know you'll be a hard worker.
rebecca: Did you have any trouble finding the town?
crystal: Diligence, tenacity?
rebecca: No, I don't think of that at all.
rebecca: Well, no matter... did you have any trouble finding the town?
crystal: Springtime?
rebecca: No, I don't think of that at all.
rebecca: Well, no matter... did you have any trouble finding the town?
crystal: Wild horses?
rebecca: Really? That's the last thing I would think of. Well, I'm a bit out of tough with the world at large.
rebecca: I've been here close on twenty years now. In fact I originally can to town to take a waitress job here, and now I own the place!
rebecca: So, did you have any trouble finding the town?
crystal: No trouble at all... unless you count the bridge falling down...
rebecca: The bridge fell down?! But... But... it's the middle of the day...
rebecca: This is terrible! That's the only way for anyone to leave town!
crystal: Is the bridge really the only way in or out of town?
rebecca: Yes it is. It's very charming actually. Why do you ask?
crystal: Well, it fell... I saw someone...
rebecca: The bridge fell?! It fell down?!
rebecca: This is terrible! HORRIBLE!
rebecca: What are we going to do?!
alex: Mother, what's wrong?! Demons? Vampires?! Zombies?!!
rebecca: The bridge...
alex: We're being invaded by bridges!!!
rebecca: No, the bridge fell down!
alex: Bridge fell down... of course! It's our only means of escape!
alex: I was right! It IS the demon invasion! They've cut us off...
alex: Wait! Who are you? Are you one of... of them?
crystal: Er... I'm... uh...
rebecca: Oh, Alex dear, this is our new waitress. Her name is Crystal.
crystal: Crystal?!... Yes! I'm Crystal...
rebecca: Alex, I want you to go find the sheriff. Tell him about the bridge, and then tell him that I'd like to have a word with him.
alex: Okay, mother.
rebecca: That's my son, Alexander St. Spigot.
crystal: The sheriff already knows about the bridge. I told him about it.
rebecca: The sheriff always seems to know what is going on around here. It's just so rare for him to act on it.
crystal: Do you think it really is demons that took out the bridge?
rebecca: Yes I do... two of them, one named Time and one named Gravity. That bridge has been ready to fall for quite some time.
rebecca: Actually, it doesn't really come as that much of a surprise.
crystal: Your son... he seems a little high-strung, if you don't mind me saying.
rebecca: He is, but he cares a lot about Spider Cliff. He knows more about the history of the town than anyone living.