Transcript of this chapter:

narrator: The Revolving Spider Diner, the social nexus of Spider Cliff...
rebecca: Well, good morning, Barlow.
barlow: Rebecca, today is the greatest day of my life. Today, I'll be leaving Spider Cliff forever.
rebecca: We all wish you luck at university. Don't forget that you'll always be welcome back in Spider Cliff.
barlow: Thanks, but no thanks. You know I've always wanted to get away from this town. Why, we can't even get any wireless stations out here. There's absolutely nothing here for me!
barlow: Oh, uh... no offense of course.
rebecca: It's okay. Some people are just not cut out for small town life, and some people aren't cut out for city life.
barlow: Well, I know what type of person I am.
barlow: I've never even been to a big city like Sprawling-Mossville, but I'm sure the people are just as nice as they are here. I'll fit in just fine.
rebecca: As you say, Barlow.
barlow: I'm sure I'll be back... someday.
rebecca: Barlow... I ALWAYS know when someone is lying. You should know that.
barlow: Okay, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
rebecca: It's okay. Some people are just not cut out for small town life, and some people aren't cut out for city life.
barlow: Well, I know what type of person I am.
barlow: I've never even been to a big city like Sprawling-Mossville, but I'm sure the people are just as nice as they are here. I'll fit in just fine.
rebecca: As you say, Barlow.
barlow: Of course, I'll miss this place as little bit...
barlow: ....just a footnote in the book of my life.
barlow: Well, I should be going now. I'd like to get out of town before anyone misses me.
rebecca: I think it's too late for that...
barlow: I sometimes forget that you're from the big city.
rebecca: Well, I've been here for almost twenty years now.
barlow: I know. I can't imagine what the town would be like without you. You're the closest thing we have to a leader.
rebecca: I just try to keep my customers happy.
alex: Barlow! Thank goodness you're still here!
barlow: Oh, hey Alex. I was just saying...
alex: DEMONS!!!
barlow: That's not exactly what I was saying...
alex: Barlow! You've got to help us! Our demon-detectors are going off all over town! It's the invasion!
barlow: We've been through this some many times before... there are no demons. They don't exist!
alex: But this time...
barlow: This time, they still don't exist.
alex: We're on the verge of total destruction! You have to act quickly! I've never seen these readings on the detectors!
barlow: Those detector things go off twice a week!
alex: It's taken a lot of time to get them tuned right, but this time is different! The readings are off the scale!
barlow: I don't believe those things even work at all.
alex: Those demon-detectors are highly sophisticated and sensitive machines.
barlow: Those demon-detector things are made of coffee cans.
alex: Of course they are. The material and shape of coffee cans make them the perfect amplifier for the job. Each detector is wired into the main detector control cylinder.
barlow: Which is also a coffee can.
alex: And the master control cylinder contain a tiny amount of pure evil, a tiny marble of evil.
barlow: Yeah, yeah... and the marble of evil triggers the boot to kick the umbrella out from under the watering can. I don't have time to listen to this garbage.
barlow: I'm leaving town, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not even setting off all those silly alarms.
alex: Barlow! When are you going to realize that you belong in this town?!
barlow: I'm going to be a philosopher, not a country bumpkin!
alex: Don't throw away your talents, Barlow! You're not going to make it anywhere in the outside world, and we need you here.
barlow: Ha! Coming from you...
alex: I would let you go, and battle the forces of darkness without you... but you are the chosen one, Barlow. You were the one trained as a demon-hunter.
barlow: Your mother thinks I should go. Right, Rebecca?
rebecca: Alex, you should let Barlow make his own decisions. I'm sure the town will be just fine without him.
alex: Is this some kind of conspiracy?! The town is in grave danger!
barlow: Goodbye, Alex.