Transcript of this chapter:

narrator: Somewhere in Lower Spider Cliff...
barlow: So... what's up?
sheriff: Good morning, you two. I trust you've come to some sort of truce.
barlow: Uh... yeah.
barlow: So, anyways... what's going on down here?
crystal: Barlow! Just get to the point!
sheriff: Barlow has trouble with follow-through. I'm assuming you're down here to rescue Turnip.
barlow: Yes, the thought had occurred to us.
sheriff: Not gonna happen.
barlow: Sheriff, we've come to ask you nicely to let Turnip go.
sheriff: You really think I'll let him go just because you ask nicely?
barlow: Well... I was hoping...
sheriff: Barlow, I've planned this out very carefully. You've all played your parts perfectly, and everything is nearly done. I'm not about to give up in my moment of triumph.
barlow: Pretty please?
crystal: Most pathetic rescue ever.
barlow: You let Turnip go!
sheriff: I'm afraid that's not possible, Barlow. I've planned this all out very carefully, and I'm not about to give up now.
barlow: But that's Turnip!
sheriff: Yes, I know.
barlow: You let Turnip go, or this demon will kill you!
crystal: Hey! You're not telling me what to do.
barlow: You want to save Turnip too, don't you? That machine is going to kill him!
crystal: I want to save him, but not in a way that kills a law enforcement officer.
barlow: What?! You're a demon! You just tried to destroy the whole town!
crystal: I just think there's a better way to handle this.
barlow: Some demon you turned out to be.
sheriff: Should I come back when you have things worked out?
barlow: Can't we make some kind of deal?
sheriff: What do you have to barter with?
barlow: Um... If you let Turnip go, I promise to stay here and be the demon-hunter I'm supposed to be.
sheriff: Oh, but you're already going to do that.
barlow: Doesn't this plan go against your philosophy of a balance between all things?
sheriff: How does this go against the balance?
barlow: Correct me if I'm wrong, but this machine is going to attract the entire population of paper mammals. You'll have them all trapped.
sheriff: Yes I will.
barlow: And on top of that, you've manipulated OUR lives to pull this off!
sheriff: Yes.
barlow: Why? I just don't understand.
sheriff: If you really need to talk about it, I've got time. The capacitors won't be charged up for another ten minutes or so.
barlow: Why trap all the paper mammals? That just seems so extreme.
sheriff: The population of paper mammals is changing. They're not the animals they used to be. I need to help them, and that's why I've had to resort to such extreme measures. You see, I've tried to breed a small number of them in captivity, but your Turnip always sets them free.
sheriff: He's too smart for a paper critter. It's not natural, and it's going to lead to trouble. He's a menace.
crystal: It's not just Turnip, is it? They're all getting smarter, aren't they? Every generation is a little smarter than the last.
sheriff: You, my dear demon, have hit on it exactly. Turnip may be smarter than the others, but they're all catching up.
sheriff: This is why I have to kill Turnip. This is why I have to catch them all. I need to breed them back to stupidity.
turnip: Um.. I'd really like to come out now...
barlow: Why did you have to manipulate everything?
sheriff: I merely moved things back to their proper balance. One demon for one demon-hunter.
crystal: Some balance! You think I can't just kill him?
sheriff: If you were a true threat, you wouldn't be standing here now.
crystal: You... you... How rude!
sheriff: I'm just being honest... and I'm not saying that you aren't dangerous. I predict the two of you will be keeping each other very busy.
barlow: So does that machine have any weaknesses?
crystal: Oh, real suave, Barlow.
sheriff: Amusing. You think I'd do all this work and still leave a flaw in my plan? You'd need a tank to get through all that steel plating.
sheriff: Now, I have some things to do in preparation. I'll talk to you later.
barlow: What do we do now?
crystal: You idiot. We need to come up with a plan.
barlow: I'll have to go find a new best friend.
turnip: Barlow, I heard that!
barlow: Do you have any demon powers to break down this gate?
crystal: No.
barlow: Pity. Why not?
crystal: Hey! This isn't about what powers I do or don't have. What about you?!
barlow: Let's go read up on that machine.
crystal: Barlow, it's going to be turned on in like ten minutes. If we're going to do something, it's gotta be now!
barlow: Let's make an overly-complicated plan!
crystal: Like what?
barlow: I know! You're going to distract the Sheriff while I find a way to get Turnip out of that machine.
crystal: Distract him how?
barlow: Just leave that to me... and be ready for him.
crystal: Barlow, you're not telling me what I need to know.