Transcript of this chapter:

crystal: Okay, I'm up here.
barlow: You certainly took your time.
crystal: Nobody's been up in this room in years, I would imagine. The stairway only has a few steps left, and I think almost every floorboard up here is rotted through.
barlow: What's in that room?
crystal: Nothing much. These windows are open, so anything in here would be open to the elements. No sign of a treasure.
barlow: Well, I'm sure the treasure wouldn't just be sitting around up there.
crystal: With the condition of the floorboards, I'm surprised that the entire floor hasn't fallen in yet.
barlow: Anything strange about this window?
crystal: No, it just looks like an ordinary window.
barlow: Well, there's something special about one of these windows. One of them doesn't show up my mirror.
barlow: Maybe I should've gone up there instead.
crystal: You think I can't handle this?
barlow: No, it's just that with those weak floorboards....
crystal: Oh, so you think I'm too heavy?
barlow: That's not exactly what I meant...
crystal: What DID you mean, Barlow? Are you implying that I'm getting fat? Are you?
barlow: No, nothing like that. Er, well... just forget it.
crystal: When I get out of here, you're going to give me a complete explanation.
barlow: Okay, let's look at the next window.
crystal: Alright. If you hear any crashing noises, you'll know I'm in the room below.
barlow: I told you to go to the next window.
crystal: I AM at the next window. There's only two windows up here.
barlow: Well, we've found the entrance to the where the treasure is hidden.
barlow: Feel along the wall and see if there's a hidden door on your side.
crystal: Nothing. It's a smooth wall.
barlow: Then we'll have to climb out one window and in through the middle one.
crystal: Say... You don't think there'll be any traps in there, do you?
barlow: I doubt it, but you go first, just in case
crystal: Oh, always the gentleman.
barlow: That, and you're the one with the deadly eyeballs.
crystal: I would think, since you're the last member of the Bean family, that you'd be able to disarm any traps as some sort of latent power you inherited.
crystal: Oh, I forgot that you were adopted. Never mind, but I'm not going in there first.
barlow: We can make Annabelle go first. She's already dead, so nothing could hurt her.
crystal: No, I think Annabelle's already had a hard day as it is.
barlow: Huh?
crystal: There was that break-up with Alex. I'm afraid it's been harder on her than for him.
barlow: I thought they were faking that whole episode.
crystal: Not at all. They might have lied to us and worked together to steal the film, but in the end it drove them apart.
crystal: My demon intuition tells me that they still have a lot of mixed feelings for each other.
barlow: That's just wishful thinking.
barlow: It's not like they're really a couple. That was just one little kiss.
crystal: One kiss is all it takes, sometimes.
barlow: Bah! One kiss doesn't make them a legitimate couple.
crystal: Okay, what's YOUR definition of a couple?
barlow: She's a zombie, and our servant.
crystal: A zombie, yes... But she obeys me. She's only working as your housekeeper under my orders, and her working for you hardly extends to exploring derelict buildings.
barlow: There's gotta be wooing and stuff.
barlow: You know, the boy has to serenade to the girl went she comes to the window. That kind of stuff.
crystal: That is SO old-fashioned, Barlow. I'm actually embarrassed for you. That's not the way it works in the real world.
barlow: That's not the way it works?
crystal: Relationships aren't as ideal in real life as they are in the books you read. You can't understand relationships until you've actually experienced them.
barlow: A living person cannot have a real relationship with a zombie.
crystal: Why not?
barlow: That would just be one-sided. The emotion has to be reciprocated.
crystal: Oh, and you think Annabelle doesn't have feelings for Alex?
barlow: The only thing she feels is hunger... for his brains.
crystal: Barlow, normally I'd agree with you, but this time I'm pretty sure you're wrong about this one.
barlow: Huh?
crystal: It goes against everything we know about zombies, but I think Annabelle is special. She's certainly a lot smarter than the ordinary zombie. Maybe she CAN feel love.
barlow: Ask me again when I find someone worth being with.
crystal: What's that supposed to mean?
barlow: I mean that the pool of eligible pairings is rather shallow in Spider Cliff. Just another reason for me to get out of this place as soon as I can.
crystal: So that's how it is, huh?
barlow: Yep.
crystal: Fine. I couldn't agree with you more.
barlow: What I don't understand is HIS reasoning. Alex's behavior is defying all logic.
crystal: That's because this isn't about reasoning and logic. This is about LOVE.
crystal: If you go through life trying to apply logic to everything, you're going to miss out on a lot. For one thing, you're NEVER going to experience love.
barlow: A zombie feeling love seems so tragic.
crystal: You don't think it could work out?
barlow: A zombie is unnatural in itself, but a zombie in love is unnatural even for the unnatural. Evil things like zombies and demons aren't supposed to feel things like that.
crystal: Hey! Demons feel the same emotions that humans do! You think I'm some kind of unfeeling monster?!
barlow: I didn't mean you, or course.
crystal: Oh, yeah?
barlow: Yeah. You don't count.
crystal: Oh, so you're marginalizing me, is that it?
crystal: Barlow, you are one step away from becoming a permanent gargoyle on top of that roof.
barlow: Look, this isn't about YOU. This is about Alex and Annabelle.
barlow: I just haven't met the right girl yet.
crystal: Are you sure it's a girl you're looking for? As I recall, those matrimonials you grew thought otherwise.
barlow: That doesn't mean anything! You know that they conspired against me!
crystal: Poor, confused Barlow. No love for you.
barlow: I'm being lectured about love by a demon?
crystal: Hey, we demons can be very sensual, you know.
barlow: Sure, but only to get close enough to strike. That's not a risk I'm willing to make.
crystal: If trust is an issue, you should look at yourself...
barlow: We can't all be as 'experienced' as you are.
crystal: Excuse me?! What did you say?
barlow: You heard me.
crystal: I can't wait for us to be alone together...
crystal: SO I CAN RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!
barlow: Oh, it sounds like I hit a nerve. I must be getting too close to the truth.
crystal: My past is NONE of your business, and it's going to stay that way, Barlow! You obviously don't know the first thing about inappropriate things to say to a woman.
barlow: Whatever.
crystal: Oh, that attitude is going to work SO well with attracting a mate.
crystal: And you're never going to keep a girl if she can't trust you!
barlow: You don't have to bring that up again.
crystal: I can and I will. You were wrong to hide from me that you're after the treasure. You should've told me up front. It's your own fault that I've lost trust in you.
barlow: Let's just move on to the treasure now. I'll be right up there in a few minutes.
crystal: Are we done talking about this?
barlow: YES!
barlow: What will it take for you to trust me?
crystal: Aw, did I hurt your feelings? Good, but it doesn't even start to make up for all the ways you've hurt me.
barlow: What? I don't even understand that remark.
crystal: Yeah, it's becoming very obvious to me that you wouldn't.
crystal: Just get up here and we'll continue looking for your precious treasure.
barlow: You don't deserve to be sneaking around here like this.
crystal: What? What do you mean?
barlow: Just look at this case... everyone lying to each other, stealing things. You're so much better than that. You shouldn't have to stoop to our level.
barlow: Throughout this whole thing, you're the only one that I knew I could trust. Of course I wanted to ask you to help me from the beginning, but I respected you too much to get you involved.
crystal: R... Really?
barlow: Yes, but now that you're in this with me, we might as well take it further.
crystal: Oh... yeah?
barlow: Yep. Let's go through that window and look for the treasure.
crystal: Uh... oh, right.