Transcript of this chapter:

narrator: Our story begins in the remote town of Spider Cliff, largely forgotten by those living even a few miles away. The last visitor to the town passed through years ago.
narrator: Today, however, someone new comes to Spider Cliff, someone with a purpose... a sinister purpose.
crystal: Well, this is it... Spider Cliff at last.
crystal: I can't believe how hard it was to find this place! What kind of town uses a rope bridge as the only route in?
crystal: Hmmm... this place looks rather quaint. I bet nothing bad ever happens around here. It's almost a shame to have to destroy it.
crystal: Well... the money was right, so here I am. A demon has to make ends meet, too.
crystal: I'll just kill everyone quickly and be back in Sprawling-Mossville in time to go clubbing.
crystal: Now, my client said the diner is where everyone goes, I'll just start there.
crystal: What the...?
crystal: I could swear that someone just cut the ropes to the bridge...
crystal: Something odd is going around out here. Were they tipped off that I was coming? This has all the markings of a trap.
crystal: I'll have to be very careful about... oh.
sheriff: Good afternoon. We don't get visitors here very... well, not at all.
sheriff: I'm the local sheriff and welcome committee. Who might you be?
crystal: Prepare to die, human!
sheriff: Oh, I never understand those sophisticated jokes from you city folk. I suppose it's some sort of cultural reference.
crystal: Actually, it's the truth...
sheriff: You'll find that we're too far from the rest of the world to appreciate that stuff. Not that we're humorless or anything.
crystal: But I'm telling the truth! I really AM here to destroy-
sheriff: Nope. Try again.
crystal: I.. I just... lost my way. Yep. Got lost.
sheriff: Young lady, no one gets lost and finds Spider Cliff. It just doesn't happen.
crystal: It can happen.
sheriff: No, I'm afraid not. Spider Cliff has... special... uh, properties, that keeps people out who don't belong here.
crystal: Oh, is that really the case?
crystal: The bridge! It just fell down!
sheriff: So it did.
sheriff: Fancy that.
crystal: You don't seem surprised.
sheriff: It happens from time to time. Whether the bridge is there or it isn't, it makes no difference.
crystal: Makes no difference?!
sheriff: The bridge is there sometimes. The bridge is gone sometimes. It all balances out.
crystal: Someone cut it down!
sheriff: Cut it down.
crystal: With scissors!
sheriff: With scissors. You saw this?
crystal: Yes... or, I think so. I'm pretty sure... er, absolutely sure!
sheriff: As the sheriff of Spider Cliff, I can attest that nobody in town would ever dream of doing such a thing. Now, a stranger on the other hand...
crystal: What are you trying to say?!!
sheriff: Merely that the bridge obviously fell on its own.
crystal: So you don't think I was involved?
sheriff: Why would I think you're involved?
crystal: Well, I'm not from around here. You don't know what I might be up to... uh, or not.
sheriff: So what are you here for?
crystal: Uh, you're right, it wasn't cut.
sheriff: I thought you'd agree.
crystal: For a sheriff, you don't seem too interested in the bridge.
sheriff: I see no reason to investigate.
crystal: A lot of other crimes to look into?
sheriff: Actually, I don't do much as sheriff.
crystal: As I told you, I'm here to destroy you!
sheriff: So you fancy yourself as some sort of evil demonic power?
crystal: Yes! That's it exactly.
sheriff: I greatly doubt that. This is Spider Cliff. We have special ways to keep evil at bay.
sheriff: And besides, I know why you're really here...
crystal: Do I need a reason?
sheriff: Yes you do. And as a matter of fact, I do know why you're here...
crystal: Oh?
sheriff: Yes. You're going to be the waitress at the diner.
crystal: Uh... yes. New waitress.
sheriff: Rebecca said you'd be arriving sometime today. We never get visitors here, so who else could you be?
crystal: Who indeed?
sheriff: I didn't catch your name.
crystal: Oh... right...
crystal: Well, I didn't catch your name either.
sheriff: Where are my manners? I'm Edwin Slugg-Moss, sheriff of Spider Cliff.
sheriff: And you are?...
crystal: I can't believe that, uh, Rebecca didn't tell you!
sheriff: Oh, she did, but it escapes me right now. I'll know it when I hear it.
sheriff: So what is your name?
crystal: Uh... nice weather we're having.
sheriff: Hmmm...